today, i relished in the moment of wakin’ up late and not havin’ to go to work. fantastic. i eventually got myself out of bed and onto the couch. the telly was turned on and they were showin’ the volvo ocean race, the abu dhabi to sanya leg. i got hell excited when i saw abu dhabi. the boy had gone to watch the in-port race and i was hopin’ by some miracle, i would see him on telly. heck, i was even wavin’ to the telly! even if he did appear, it’s not like he could have waved back. :s it was then that i realised, i missed him, oh so much.

actually i have been missin’ him and it gets worse as days go by. even though as each day passes, the nearer i get to the day i see him again and join him to live in the uae. it does sux when i come home and there’s no one at home welcomin’ me..nor will i see the boy comin’ through the front door.

i’ve been keepin’ myself busy this past week tryin to kill time till the next day comes. i’ve managed to accumulate another 2 big bags full of trash (or rather things i have decided to just get rid of). i have done filin’ as well, clearin’ a lot of the paperwork we had chucked one corner. there’s still a bunch of letters etc at marsilin’ but at least i have my filin’ system ready now. i’m still hesistant to touch anythin’ in the 3rd room. i just dunno what to do with them! ohhh, i have cleared a fair bit of stuff on the dinin’ table and can see my placemats again. it’s not fully cleared but there’s progress.

sometimes i wonder how it would be if the job offer didn’t come along. we would have been able to do so much to the flat and enjoy livin’ in punggol. but i know that things happen for a reason and we chose for the boy to take up the job offer coz’ it would mean a brighter future for us. the boy has already made progress in his job and made good impressions so God willin’ good things will happen. just a matter of time.

for now, i’ll have to continue prayin’ for good things for us, for him to stay safe and be in good company and for me to find a job in ad. God willin’.

i met ken through ali. i remember the first time i met him, we went to some african festival thingo at vic park. it was summer and ken was wearin’ his trademark basketball jersey. the next day, ali, ken, brice and i took off on a roadtrip. despite havin’ known ken and brice for only a day, the roadtrip was absolute fun.

over time, ken was just helpful to me and my many nonsensical situations. he was always ready to lend me his car when i didn’t a ride, drive me places and just makin’ me smile. i was a tad jealous when he got himself a girl, maria. i was afraid that my role of bein’ THE girl in the roadtrip gang was no longer special. but thank God, i was wrong. maria was so lovely to me and she was so sweet and the best thing that happened to ken. the sacrifices the both of them made for each other, in order to stay together, was and still is admirable.

maria’s from belgium, and eventually, ken moved back there with her. the sweetest couple i know and the most dedicated to their relationship. they are now married and has the most adorable lil girl, jade.

even though they are so many hours away from me, ken never fails to say hi on msn every now and again to check up on me. things are goin’ well with them and i hope it continues for many, many years to come. i hope to see ken, maria and lil jade soon. i owe them so much for my sanity and i pray i can show them my gratitude before i die.

the boy and i started our own new chapter soon after that big event.  we are now moved to our new flat in punggol.  we’re not 100% moved but we’re gettin’ there.  it’s a bit sad that i cannot do much to this house.  and by that, i mean decoratin’ the place and turnin’ it into a home.  well, i can…but there’s no point coz’ i won’t be here for long.

that brings me to another chapter…

the boy left for abu dhabi last sunday.  we managed to have a night in the new flat together.  and then he left me to “cari rezeki”.  i was touched that so many people came to the airport to see him off.  and as predicted, i broke down.  i know it’s ony for three months but not havin’ my husband around is not somethin’ i like.  we’ve been communicatin’ via sms-es, whatsapp msgs and me callin’ him.  he seems to be enjoyin’ the place there and i’m glad as i was afraid of a second “homesick” situation.  now i can’t wait for the day i join him there in abu dhabi.

in the mean time, i pray that the Almighty keeps him safe and in good company.  amin.

i started helpin’ out at the technical tent, cleanin’ markers and masks. as i was handlin’ the tippman markers, it brought back memories of the time when i had just only started playin’ paintball. those markers were heavy! and i smiled to myself and gave myself an imaginary pat on the back for the growth i have showed in the sport. no more mechanical markers, just Oscar, the mini.

the day was boilin’. i was almost wishin’ it would rain but rain would mean delay in games and the ref in me just wanna push games. later i took over alfa’s photographer role and went into the field, talonmark 3/4pants, slipper and my pandora. oh, i managed to put on my tigger ears too. :p it was interestin’ to be the phoographer and i had a feelin’-feelin’ moment of bein’ like the residentevilchef. heh but of course i’m no where near to the great man.

paintballs flew all over and i must say, the female players in that tourney were pretty impressive. i certainly gave them credit for crawlin’ through the muddy field. i was just wearin’ slippers and whilst i know i could just go and wash my feet later, i still tredded carefully. yes, i’m a girl who doesn’t like to get dirty but yes, i’m a paintballer.

it was a wise decision to go help out coz we met pretty much everyone from the osb family. it was good for the boy say his goodbyes (again). we hung out, played bluff, before adjournin’ to the nearby makan spot for the usual debrief and lepak sessio. even when the rain came down, the family still stuck together. last night’s sessio ended with tabong, boy, alfa, the boy and me havin’ lots of tehs over discussions of serious matters and nonsensical stories. there was a point where i turned to the boy and told him, “these are good people.” and i meant it 100% and more.

the rain was still comin’ down when we decided to go our separate ways. and i really treasured alfa’s friendship when he made sure he said goodbye to the boy properly. i’m sure the boy knows that he’s left SKIN in good hands durin’ his absence.

and it was durin’ the cold and wet ride back to CIQ that i realised the boy was gonna be leavin’ soon and i knew i would be a total mess at the airport when the time comes for him to leave. i started to lightly sob, huggin’ the boy tight as we manouvered our way through the horrendous traffic back to singapore.

my life has gone down paths i never expected. i am thankful for some, wished it was different with some but at the end of the day, i am who i am coz of my past and no one can change that. it is time to look forward to the future, put in the hard work for a better life for the boy and i, God willin’.

so i finally did it last night.  by it, i mean cuttin’ my hair.  it is now short.  like short short.  i had been thinkin’ bout it for the longest time now and finally last night, i did not hesitate goin’ to see the hairdresser.  the lady tied my hair into a ponytail and then without warnin’ nor emotion, she snipped it off and put what had previously been attached to my head, on the table in front of me.  i stared at it for a while.  and surprisingly, i didn’t feel anythin’.  well, not immediately anyways.  it was towards the end of the haircut, when nothin’ can be salvaged, that i realised that i wanted my long hair back!  but what’s done is done and i’ve accepted the new look.  like what i’ve told a couple of friends, i’m gonna rock the hairdo and look, in the words of tyra, FIERCE!.  ;)

ohhh i haven’t blabbered about the world cup asia 2011 event.  in summary, SKIN did awesomely well, better than expected.  we placed 12th out of 47 teams.  not bad and is the highest ranked singapore team in division 3.  but for the fact that PALS reckons we’re from indonesia instead.  :S

the lightin’ was atrocious.  they really need to work on that for the next world cup, seein’ that it will be at the same venue for the next 2 or 3 years.  i appreciated that the hotel was right beside the venue and it made goin’ back and forth a lot easier.  i also liked that the players’ paddock was relatively near to the playin’ field.  well at least for division 3 and 4 teams.  division 2 teams prolly had some cause for complaints in regards to that.  the floors were slippery and we saw a lot of near-falls and one particular fall by an aussie paintballer.  hehe  :p  the referees had a hard time and coupled with an annoyin’ headref in field 3 who looked like he wanted to marshal the field by himself, the paintballers were on the receivin’ end of that frustration.  i am glad that i was not reffin’ so there were moments where i wish i was with the rest of crew like my two partners, daus and shahrul.  i hope to see them one last time in january before the final take off.

SKIN hung out a lot with team zoo.  on the first day of arrival, we did the field walks together and headed to pantai cenang for lunch.  or what we hoped to be lunch.  by the time we got there, it was right smack in their lull period where shops are closed from 3pm to 6pm.  so we waited till it was 6pm before we conquered a table at a seafood restaurant.  everyone had been eyein’ the prawns and lobsters etc.  we managed to see the beach where we goofed off a lil’ and thankfully we did coz we never saw the ocean again after that afternoon.

we went back to cenang twice after for meals.  the rest of the time marrybrown took our money.  it was just convenient, situated at the airport which is just a 5 min walk from our hotel.  if one of us had been adventurous, we would have discovered some warung place to makan a lil further down the road.  but alas, it was fried chicken for one too many times.

now for pics!  stolen from rudy big mac and the various official wca media photogs.  :p

p/s:  i know..it’s tuesday.  :p

let’s start with the most important.

the boy  is leavin’ for abu dhabi next week.  at least we think it’s next week.  the hr lady has been very silent bout stuff, which is startin’ to worry me just a tad.  we have not packed his stuff up only coz we are prolly avoidin’ the fact that it needs to be done.  that the time has finally come for him to pack up and make the important move.  i dunno how i’ll be when he’s gone.  i dunno how i’ll be when he goes.  God only knows how i will freak out at the airport.  i already asked ms barbie to be there with me coz i know i’m gonna need the support.  especially since my parents are not around and i am not sure if my brother will be back by then.  but even if they are….i know for a fact that i’m gonna be devastated.  sure, i will be visitin’ and keepin’ in touch everyday (if possible) but my husband is all i got left here in singapore and if he goes…then i’m all alone.  :(

this weekend is prolly his last weekend in singapore.  and whilst i can’t wait for the work week to be over, i do not want the weekend to be over.  :(  dear God, please help me get through this difficult time.  give me the strength to hold on and know that my time will come.  amin.

last weekend, we checked into thistle in jb.  we were supposed to be in melaka for the my-npl finale but due to stuff, the team was unable to go.  so the boy and i decided to have a lil’ getaway for ourselves.  i have been to thistle before, or rather when it was under the hyatt management and i always enjoyed my stay.  i expected no less from this visit.  the room was lovely and the new paint job did help make the hotel seem a lil more posh.  we lazed in the room for a bit before we decided to chill by the pool.  the boy read his steve jobs autobiography book whilst i napped to the sounds of class 95.

it was lovely.  to just lay there and not do anythin’.  to not think of anythin’.    well the only thing i was thinkin’ of was a massage i badly needed.  my shoulders have been achin’ for the longest time so yes, a massage.    didn’t manage to go into the water coz it was just freezin’ cold.  instead i laid just by the edge and enjoyed the sun.  the boy was already in the water and whilst he will deny this, i’m pretty sure his splashin’ of water at me was the reason i woke up from my nap.  :p  we left half hour later to search for food and the much needed massage at yann’s shop.  it’s so good to know people who have connections of some sorts.  :)

ohhhhhh back-track a bit!  friday night, the boy and i attended the laugh off asia event at the arts house.  fakkahfuzz was gonna be performin’ and since we had always wanted to go watch stand up comedy, we decided why not.  good thing i managed to get tixs coz soon after my transaction went through, the tickets were sold out!  and omg, we had a hilarious time watchin’ the show.  i honestly thought the rishi guy and fazz were the most hilarious comedians from the singapore camp and the second filipino guy was the most funny representin’ the philippines.  after the show, we both didn’t really wanna go back home just yet.

sooooo…..we went to punggol for prawnin’!  it was my first time and i was excited!  and for some reason i really thought that prawnin’ would be easy but lo and behold, it wasn’t!  and i felt so frustrated when i kept seein’ this guy catchin’ prawn after prawn and there i am half hour in, not even a bite.  booooo!!  the boy was so patient with me and just as i was ready to go home, i caught one!  yay!!  and soon after two!!  yay again!!  :D  and that was the end of my prawnin’ streak.  two prawns caught in an hour.  so not satisfied.  must try again!

so the birthday celebrations started with lunch with the colleagues at west coast plaza. it was a joint celebration with yati and both birthday girls got a stalk of rose each.

the boy, irda and the fellow loonie gave me a surprise when the boy brought me out for an early birthday dinner at carousel. it was nice to have dressed up and catch up some with friends whom i have not seen for a long while. and of course, the food was awesome..they had oysters! ohh and i tried salmon sashimi. it was interestingly weird. i wouldn’t say it tasted bad but just weird.

next surprise i had was from the villagers at work. a balloon and yummy cakes to entertain ourselves with durin’ tea break. i must say i am blessed to have them in my village. i can’t imagine havin’ to be in the same village as ms weight-conscious or that other one. :s and that night, the boy and i attended a showcase at the avalon presentin’ david garrett. he was amazin’! the way he handles his violin (classical, mind you) and rock out those aerosmith and other rock tunes, amaze! His fingers…boy some girl must be very happy! :p and then dinner at south coast. what a lovely date night with my husband.

with so many events happenin’ prior to my birthday, one would think my birthday itself would be amazin’ and well it wasn’t really but it was still good. i had an opportunity for another chat and the best part of that day was i was able to have an afternoon nap! how awesome and rare is that?! and not just a nap but a nap whilst it’s rainin’ outside!! bliss..thank God for the lil’ things in life such as rain.

that birthday weekend was spent at east coast park coz the singapore paintball series leg 2 was happenin’. i was reffin’ as usual and i was so proud of myself for not bein’ so aggro like i was previous times. i saw individuals and teams play so well…and i also saw individuals and teams play bad, some even cheatin’. or at least attempted to. it is sad to see people resortin’ to such just for the sake of winnin’. i’m grateful that SKIN does not practice that one bit.

speakin’ of SKIN, the team did not do so well. they looked a lil lost and too relaxed that first day and as a result, they only won one out of four games played. but oh well…lessons learnt i suppose. tonight we’re gonna see the boss and have a debrief with him. this scenario of losin’ that badly cannot be repeated in langkawi, for sure.  and apparently tonight we’re gonna have a birthday dinner with the in-laws and our new JB family – OSB.  :)  can’t wait to see everyone again and pecal lele…awesome!!

please let the day go past quick.  :)

it was a packed weekend that just past. friday evenin’ was spent havin’ dinner with cj who was in town to conduct the asiaref course. ben, jane, acid and idi were there too and it was an interestin’ evenin’ spent at tong seng and jco donuts at bugis. many things were dicussed and the future looks promisin’, God willin’.

saturday was the theory class and hang out sessio with cj and the refs. i was driver for the day which i was happy to be considerin’ cj has been so nice to us sps refs when we go over to malaysia for mpoc. we went to queensway coz cj wanted to look for trainin’ jerseys. then we headed to beach road for teh and later for sup tulang. it was good to just hang out coz i’ve never had the opportunity to do so when we’re at mpoc. mac insisted to go for kunefe and we got a spot right in front of the telly where everton was playin’ liverpool. teas, kunefes and ghost stories in between, we had a good night. at least i hope he did.

sunday was spent at the field at red dynasty. the day started out blah coz it rained but the sun came out strong after. i like the fact that i get to learn somethin’ new everytime i’m reffin’ in a field. but sometimes i feel like i’m not good enough coz’ i still dunno everythin’. nonetheless i do enjoy reffin’ and if i’m not good enough to take on certain roles so be it.

the best part of the weekend was when my husband took me out for dinner. he said i was to dress up and it was nice to not go hang out at al ameen once in a while. :p he wouldn’t tell me any details about the dinner. i guessed it would have been carousel and i was right! what i totally didn’t guess was dinner was not just for two! ms barbie came a minute or two after we sat down and the fellow loonie came when we were havin’ our first plate of food, oysters in my case. :p i was so surprised and so touched they came and that they had all planned it to be as such. though i’m guessin’ reza was just late. :p

an evenin’ of stuffin’ my face and i even tasted salmon! like raw salmon! it didn’t taste as bad as i thought it would be but it’s certainly not somethin’ i would try again anytime soon. it is rather strange when one thinks bout it. i LOVE oysters (natural, no other way) and i think sashimi is gross. oh well, whatever floats my boat!   we had our photos taken…which was sweet and a cupcake with a candle on top to share.  thankfully, no birthday song was sung.  hehe  no offence to the staff but change the song can??

it is friday tomorrow (woohoo!) and possibly a dinner with the senior refs and our mentor, CJ. if that don’t happen there’s still saturday. this weekend is the asiaref course and i’m goin’ to refresh on the rules as well as learn a few new things pertainin’ to race-to formats. only idi and acid have experience in reffin’ the higher division games and i need to buck up and raise my hand next time there’s a call for field 1 refs.

singapore paintball series (sps) leg 2 is a week away and i’m excited yet nervous. excited to be reffin’ again but nervous for SKIN. they will try to aim for the overall champion title and i really hope they achieve it. i’m sure i’ll feel somewhat envious to see them bond, play and just have fun whilst i’m bustin’ my sorry behind in the field. it’s not that i don’t enjoy reffin’..i just miss the team when they’re playin’ and i’m not. nonetheless this could possibly be my last time reffin’ at sps so let’s go out with a bang! no matter what, i’m still head bitch in that field, yo! :p

i wonder what time i can fetch the car from the brother-in-law tomorrow. it’s be good to have it for when we go for the dinner, assuming there is one. i’m tryin’ not to be too dependent on the car but if it’s there then why not right? i wish i had my own mode of transport but now’s not the time. soon soon, God willin’.

ohhh..i won a pair of tixs from gold 90fm to see a private showcase of david garrett. he’s a classically trained violinist who plays music influenced by the legandary rock bands/artistes like metallica, michael jackson and aerosmith. now that will be a nice evenin’ and considerin’ it’ll be at the avalon, i’m sure the set up will be wow. i hope the boy has his leave approved for next thursday so that will be fun and a good start to the birthday weekend.

yes, folks, backstreet boys day is comin’ again!! woohoo!!! keep the backstreet pride alive y’all!

You have got a fresh, positive attitude to life that means you are naturally drawn to anything that is modern and original. Your cool sense of style and sharp mind allow you to maintain that perfect blend of work and play, which means you are generally a fun person to be around. You are an emotional spirit and you make really strong connections. Good friends and lots of laughs are the recipe for really happy days. And nights!

You’re a fast-mover and feel energized about anything that gets your pulse racing! You’re enthusiastic about life and an upbeat spirit who knows how to have fun and tends to value all which is fresh and new in the world. You tire quickly of old conventions and outdated ideas, wishing to experience new methods with youthful innocence and vigor. It’s all about big thrills and exciting antics that take you out of your comfort zone. You want to feel connected to the world around you and actively seek out opportunities to get closer to nature. For you, it is all about broadening your horizons and living life to the fullest! Plan your next adventure on nytimes.com/travel.

for your very own visual dna by the new york times, visit - http://nytimes.visualdna.com/.  :)